A Joke

JOKE OF THE WEEK - courtsey of suddenvalues.com

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well was dry and needed to be covered up anyway, so it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then to everyone's surprise, he quieted down. A few shovels later, the farmer looked down the well and saw something amazing! That with each shovel of dirt that hit the donkey's back, he simply shook it off and took a step up! As the neighbors continued to shovel dirt down the well, the donkey continued to shake and climb!

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

The Moral: Life is going to shovel all kinds of dirt on you. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping! Never give up! Shake it off and take a step up!

Enough of that crap. The donkey later came back and bit the s_ _ _ out of the farmer that tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from the infection.

Moral 2: When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

Couldn't resist posting this. Sometimes I get some good ones in my e-mails. Most of the time, not so much. Hope I put a smile on your face!

April Fool's Day!

I loved this day when I was a kid. I even gave this day as a birthday to my cat, Penny, since I didn't know what day she was born on (who, by the way, was named after Penny from Lost In Space – yeah, I'm THAT old).

It's nice to know you can play tricks on people and not really get into trouble because the day allows it. Nothing physically harmful, though. Telling fibs, making up stories, that kind of stuff. (You know, like telling your husband you're pregnant, when it's impossible, but he believes you and panics, because you make it sound so real, so it makes it even more funny when you tell him "April Fools!" because he hasn't checked the calendar and has no idea what day it is).

Yeah, I like tricking my family more than friends (because I get into less trouble that way). I think it works for me because I'm usually such an honest person (I once belched loud enough that people in the other room heard, so I blamed my husband, who was sitting next to me. He denied it vehemently, but no one believed him. That either tells you the type of person I am, or the type of person he is!).

I did laugh at the suggestion I saw on an e-mail to glue magnets to your coffee cup and place it on the roof of your car, right where you might put it as you climbed inside. It would be funny if you could see the expressions you get, but that's not so easy when you're driving, now is it? Plus, I'm not so sure it would withstand my freeway driving, anyway! April Fool's is only fun when you can SEE the reactions (and then say "April Fool's!"). Or am I the only one who believes that?

Here's hoping you have a nice FOOLISH day!

A Joke

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

It's late, but not over yet. And I received the following joke via suddenvalues.com, so I thought I would share, since it is IRISH!!

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders 3 glasses of beer, drinking them one at a time. The bartender sees the odd ritual and explains that the beer goes flat and would taste much better if he only ordered one at a time. The Irishman explains he began this custom when his two brothers moved overseas to Australia and America and this was his way of remembering all the time they spent drinking together.

The man soon became a regular at the bar and became well known for ordering 3 beers at once. One day he walks in and only orders 2 beers. Assuming the worst, a hush fell over the whole bar. When the Irishman returned to the bar to order the second round, the bartender offered his condolences. The man looked confused for a moment, and then explained, Oh no! Everythings just fine! I just gave up beer for Lent!

I hope you didn't get pinched today!!

Super Bowl Aftermath

What happens when you’re an obnoxious fan for the team that LOST in the Super Bowl? My husband found out.

He had to go away on travel on Monday, and I guess some enterprising people (his boss?) decided to play a joke on him. The pictures show what he came back to work on Tuesday to find.

At first, he wasn’t sure if the people liked him or hated him. But when I pointed out people don’t do that to people they DON’T like, he had to agree. He enjoyed the joke (knew he deserved it), and played along. Mainly because he’s done much worse to his co-workers!

Yes, I married a nut. A nut who makes me laugh. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Something to Make you Laugh (I Hope)

Just when I wonder what I should blog about (since I try to get at least one or two a week - yeah, I'm bad), I get an e-mail from suddenvalues.com. I'm beginning to like those e-mails (even though they are advertisements). They give me some good blog fodder! And who doesn’t love a good laugh (even with the joke is bad)?

Now, it may not be as cold here as some other places, but it's cold enough for me!

JUST HOW COLD IS IT?

It`s so cold, I`m shivering like a mobster in a tax office.

It`s so cold that the local flasher was caught describing himself to women.

It`s so cold that your shadow freezes to the sidewalk.

It`s so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.

It`s so cold the lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.

It`s so cold people are looking forward to getting a fever.

It`s so cold our words froze in mid-air and we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them out just so we could hear we we were talking about.

It`s so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe turns out to be your toe.

It`s so cold that when I put on my coat to take out the garbage, it didn`t want to go.

It`s so cold that the snowman begs you to take him in at night.

Hope you enjoyed them. They gave me a chuckle, anyway!