Pitching (But Not a Baseball)

Today, on the Fantasy, Futuristic, and Paranormal Blog, there was an article about pitches by CJ Lyons. It was very informative and she offered to give some feedback if we wished to post our pitch. I was going to pitch THE UNCOMMON ONE, but I’ve been pitching that, and decided, instead, to pitch my 3rd book (since my 2nd book is a sequel and I don’t plan on pitching it).

Can’t tell you how surprised I was to realize I had a high-concept thing going that was unique – and I didn’t even realize it! Here’s the original pitch I entered for my paranormal romance tentatively titled MEMORIES:

After waking from a night he doesn’t remember, a high-ranking vampire is implicated in an unauthorized turning of a woman who resembles his late wife.

CJ liked the premise and made some suggestions (like the word amnesia – how that could have slipped my mind… oh well). Anyway, after a little tweaking, here’s what I came up with:

A 259 year-old vampire with amnesia is implicated in the unauthorized turning of a woman who resembles his late wife.

So, which do you like? Does it sound intriguing? Does it sound original? Wasn’t sure if I should leave high-ranking in there (some people were intrigued with a concept of rank and hierarchy in vampires, when really my vampire is a Committee Member – wasn’t sure how to phrase that so I went with high-ranking, since he is, in a way).

As you can see from the side panel, I’m not very far in the story, but I think I like having the pitch first. It’s making me focus on what the story really is about, which is important when you haven’t plotted out the whole book (I seem to be a mix between a plotter and a pantser).

Have to say, though, that her comments really inspired me. Now it’s back to editing SARAH’S TURN. Hope to have that finished by the weekend so I can get back to MEMORIES.