Monday, April 25, 2016

The SPAM I Get...

I have several e-mail accounts. One I’ve had forever, back when you were limited to how many characters you could have as an e-mail address. Luckily my initials and last name fit. I use this account for pretty much everything (even this blog) and I’m really surprised I don’t get much SPAM on this account. And I’m glad.

Another I set up when I started querying. I didn’t want the responses to get lost in my main account (like I expected to get tons of responses—boy, was I naïve or what?). The extent of SPAM on this account: Canadian Pharmacy. I guess I marked I was old or something.

Then I set up my author e-mail account via g-mail. Never really used it until I became published. Somewhere this got picked up for every SPAM site out there. I probably get over a dozen SPAM a DAY on this account. And just recently, too. I have yet to figure out what the trigger was because it doesn’t correspond with anything. Just lucky, I guess.

As I read over some of the beginnings of these e-mails (because I want to make sure a fan e-mail didn’t get put over in SPAM by mistake), I had to laugh. And then I thought it might be funny to share here (because I’m always looking for something to blog about that’s more funny than depressing). Maybe you might get these same e-mails. Or not. Here’s a sampling of the sexual nature:

  • Your super helpers in love. Joy can last longer than you expect.
  • Don’t let your vigor collapse! Implement your fantasies into reality!
  • Her little hole won’t be so little after you… (I don’t think I want to know what the rest of this says)
  • They will worship your stiff manhood.
  • Your love temperament will go crazy…
  • Your love-tool will always behave well… (this one really cracked me up!)
  • Save your amorous life from failures!

Here’s a sampling of others:

  • Open that door with the Degree you diserve (hmmm… do I really want a Degree from some place that can’t spell?)
  • How a fiction author went from 0 to $66.236 (Really? I already do better than that. But to be fair, inside the e-mail it states $66,236)
  • Match your experience with the right Degree (I know, boring, but I get a lot of Degree ones—always capitalized—for some strange reason.)

I’m still amazed at how many of these e-mails assume I’m a male. Years ago, I could understand that, since Stacy wasn’t a very popular name for girls (at least not when I was growing up). Now? It’s more popular for girls than it is for boys, isn’t it? Yet, I never get one of these sexual e-mails addressed for a woman. Then again, maybe there isn’t an equivalent female problem that gets SPAMMED.  If there is, you’ll have to enlighten me.

On Saturday, the Penguins finished off the Rangers and now head into Round 2 where they’ll face the Capitals. I am SO enjoying watching the Penguins play this year. They are so together. And fast!! It’s just awesome.

Hubby is progressing well. Each day he improves a little more (it really helped when his crutch—the feeding tube—went away). And today he actually went into work. Doubt he stays the whole day, but that doesn’t matter. It’s a step back to normalcy, something he’s been craving.

So… Do you have several e-mail accounts? Does one get more SPAM than the others?

Have a great Monday!



Bonnie said...

Hey Stacy,
Lol! That's too funny. Lately I've been getting adult diaper spam!
I'm glad your hubby is feeling better.

Stacy McKitrick said...

Bonnie - I haven't gotten any adult diaper spam yet. Oh goodie. Something to look forward to, huh? :)

Maria Zannini said...

I've never understood how it profits spammers to contact people. Does anyone ever click their links?

Glad to hear your hubby is on the mend. I'm surprised he went back to work already. I hope he takes it slow though. There's still a lot of recuperating to do.

Jennette Marie Powell said...

I have something like ten email accounts. I use the Yahoo one for all online shopping, and that's the one that gets the most spam, including the LOLs you mention above. It's also the oldest. As time goes by, I get more spam in my jpowell email, but it's from more legitimate sources, mostly newsletters from local retailers. I think because that system assigns the email address based on first initial, last name, then a number for everyone after the first person with that combo, but several idiots forget the number after theirs... and sign up for tons of crap. Sigh.

Stacy McKitrick said...

Maria - I guess SPAMMERS get some clicks, or else it wouldn't be worth it. As for Hubby... He said he'd leave after his 1pm meeting. I'll believe it when I see him come home early!

Jennette - You can always unsubscribe from those retailers. Takes awhile before the emails, stop, but they do eventually stop.

JeffO said...

I have an msn account from forever, which gets a lot of junk mail. My gmail is newer, but doesn't get much spam (fortunately); but when I do, it's along the lines of the stuff in your first group.

Good on your husband for getting out--hope he does well and doesn't overdo it. Have a great week!

Stacy McKitrick said...

Jeff - Don't know if Hubby overdid it, but he's decided to only go into work on Mon, Wed, & Fri this week (and probably next week). He said he was okay, but after awhile the talking got to his throat.