Getting
to Know Your Committee Members by Perry Davenport.
Perry: Hello, fellow vamps, this is
Perry Davenport here to interview Committee Member Jack VanAllen. He has been
on the Committee since 1878, making him the second-longest member after our
fearless Head, Barnet Groves.
Jack: Shouldn’t that be
second-longest serving member? I think Abe is the longest by six inches.
Perry: What are you, the grammar
police?
Jack: Just pointing out the
obvious.
Perry: Yeah, sure. So tell us,
Jack. It’s a known fact you prefer positive blood to negative blood, but what
we don’t know is how you can tell the difference. What makes negative blood so
distasteful to you?
Jack: I thought you were going to
ask me real questions during this interview.
Perry: That is a real question. One
I got from a listener, even.
Jack: Fine. I don’t know why, but
negative blood makes my stomach upset.
Perry: So, it’s psychosomatic?
Jack: It’s not psychosomatic. And
if you wish to continue with this interview, I suggest you ask a different
question.
Perry: Okay. Don’t be so touchy.
Here’s a fun question for you. Boxers, briefs, or commando?
Jack: What male vampire wears
undergarments? You?
Perry: Oh, well, no. Not me. Point
taken. Next question. What’s your dream vacation?
Jack: Why would I want to take a
vacation? I like my job.
Perry: But wouldn’t you like to
just get away for a week?
Jack: And do what?
Perry: Okay, so you’re a
workaholic. What do you do during your free time?
Jack: Sometimes I swim. Sometimes I
read. Sometimes I work on my car.
Perry: (snapping fingers) Yes, your
car. You own a 1965 Mustang, right?
Jack: Actually, it’s a 1964-1/2.
First generation. Bought it brand new.
Perry: I bet that thing is worth a
pretty penny.
Jack: I wouldn’t know. I don’t plan
on selling it.
Perry: No, of course not. What
other cars have you owned?
Jack: None. I like that one.
Perry: Not even before the Mustang?
Maybe a Model T?
Jack: I walked faster than the
Model T.
Perry: Well, yeah, didn’t we all?
Okay, here’s a more serious question. The Committee hasn’t set a precedence,
but what do you think of a vamp controlling a mortal for personal gain?
Jack: I know some vampires resort
to that tactic, but I’d like to think they do it out of need and not fun.
Still, while we are forced to control a mortal for feeding, we do not have to
resort to that for fun. That is what our allure is for.
Perry: But isn’t that the same as
controlling?
Jack: Not at all. It is just an
attraction. The mortal can still say no. We vampires can be more persuasive in
other ways, just as mortals are to one another. Do you control a mortal when
you’re not feeding from them?
Perry: No. I mean, what’s the fun
in that? I like a little interaction.
Jack: Exactly.
Perry: Will the Committee ever set
a rule to prevent it?
Jack: As long as it’s not an issue,
I doubt it. Mainly because there are times when the vampire is in need. And if
we start making rules for every little thing, we might end up with another
vampire war on our hands. And a war in this technological world would surely
out us all. All the more reason to keep the calm.
Perry: Keep Calm and Avoid
Publicity!
Jack: What?
Perry: Never mind. Thanks for
joining us today, Jack. It was a real pleasure.
****
Tonight Hubby and I might actually be able to attend our
first Dragons game of the season (since the other first game was rained out).
No rain is in sight tonight. At least, not until after midnight. Our second
game is tomorrow and while there isn’t rain forecasted, it’s supposed to be
colder. As my husband asked, “Don’t the weather Gods know it’s May?” Apparently
not. I foresee going from chilly weather straight into 90 degree temps. There
will be no beautiful days in between. I just know it!
So… It’s Friday the thirteenth today (my daughter’s favorite
day). Are you superstitious? Sometimes I think superstition is just another
form of OCD. What do you think?
Have a great weekend (and don’t walk under that ladder!).
Stacy
4 comments:
Big (ish) temperature drop coming here over the weekend, where it was mid-70s yesterday, and even stayed over 60 overnight. I hope you get to enjoy the games!
Not superstitious, mostly. Though when I used to play hockey, I had routines for when to arrive, when to start getting geared up, what music to listen to on the way over, etc. But no, not superstitious!
Jeff - My daughter is headed up to Montreal to play Footy. I hope she doesn't freeze!! Re superstitious: yeah, sure you're not. Haha! :)
I'm not superstitious but man, anything that could go wrong today, did, starting with my web site and continuing with some mechanical malfunctions. I'd like a do-over. :)
Maria - I hope your problems ended once the day did. :)
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